I have a very good reason for not blogging for the past 10 months:
I had nothing interesting to talk about.
Last year, at exactly this time, I left San Francisco and came back home to New York City in search of stability (an oxymoron for someone who’s not from New York, but alas I am a native). The search for stability included a passionate and fulfilling romantic relationship; a job that didn’t drive me nuts; a budget that included a emergency savings and a debt-elimination plan; and some serious focus on writing and getting published.
The Heart Situation
On a three-week visit home at the end of 2011, I met, got courted and fell in love with my soul mate. And 14 months later, we’re broken up.
We seem to be on a constant merry-go-round of breaking up, reuniting, falling passionately in love, breaking up, reuniting, and on and on. Therefore I can’t say if this is permanent, but what is permanent is my decision to get rid of my dependency on him. I have been living with my parents in Astoria, back in my teenage bedroom, splurging on clothes, dinners, paying down debt, taking trips to Chicago, San Francisco and Spain (will post on that soon), while waiting for our relationship to progress. Renting in New York City is too pricey to just do it without exploring all the alternatives. Not to mention, my family home is a 25 minute subway ride away from my job in Midtown Manhattan and I get to live in my old bedroom, completely rent-free. It’s also a serious no-no in the Bengali Muslim community I grew up in to move out and live on your own as a young unmarried woman, unless you buy your own place, move to another city or have a ghastly commute to work — neither of which apply to me. So while I love my new Kate Spade and Anthro goodies and traveling across the globe, nothing is worth the emotional trauma of living at home with ultra-conservative parents.
It’s ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’ on steroids.
Gettin’ That Paycheck
I’ve been happily employed for almost a year as a copywriter at a huge fashion retailer. A steady paycheck, a kick-ass boss, some of the best co-w0rkers ever, a fairly lax schedule, a normal workload and a decent salary and benefits make me pretty happy about selling my soul to corporate America. The glamour of the fashion magazine world faded long, long ago and the realities of the snobby non-profit world has turned me away from it, dare I say, forever.
Money, Cash, Money, Cash…
If you’ve ever read ‘Confessions of a Shopaholic’, you’ll relate. I was that girl that applied for every credit card on the planet as soon I was old enough and swiped and swiped and swiped until I blew my credit down. I hid my credit card statements in a drawer and never opened them. I just stopped paying, even the minimum and before I even graduated college, I was in thousands of dollars of credit card debt. Even after my parents helped pay some of it off.
After college, I worked at a string of jobs both freelance and full-time and not only did I never save a dime but I never even attempted to pay off my debt. I deferred my student loans for as long as I could, hoping that someday I’d make enough to pay it all off. Well, that NEVER happened.
I finally learned that ignoring bills or waiting for a fatter paycheck will never solve my money woes. An amazing pair of financially savvy friends in SF and some harsh realities got me on track. It is part of why I still live at home. Over the past year, I’ve paid of all old credit card debt, raised my credit score and set myself on a short-term student loan repayment plan.
Literary Dreams
Just last night I pitched my first on-spec essay of my career as well as my first piece of writing for the year and it was immediate accepted by the editor! This almost never happens but in less than 24 hours I got a writer’s contract for my essay which is being published in a MAJOR leading publication next month. I hope to keep the momentum going. I also started a UC Berkeley online writing certificate, focusing on mostly fiction — the first step in prepping for a possible MFA.
So while I haven’t achieved stability on all fronts, I think I’m doin’ pretty damn good.
2013 is going to be the year of independence. It’s time to cut the umbilical before I enter my third decade next year. I’m moving out despite the taboo, not letting my heart and my head get mixed up, staying put at my great job, becoming even better at handling my finances — learning to do what’s best for me.
